Respectable Sins: Pt 9 (Selfishness)

Chapter 12 - Selfishness

In chapter 12 Bridges addresses the sin of selfishness.  He writes:

We can be very learned in our theology or very upright in our morality and yet fail to display the gracious qualities of Christian character that Paul called the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23). (p. 101)

A good point that Bridges makes is that selfishness is very easy to see in children, but:

Selfishness is a difficult sin to expose because it is so easy to see in someone else but so difficult to recognize in ourselves (p. 102)

He identifies four different ways we can be selfish:

1. With our interests

Bridges suggests that a good test of the degree of our selfishness in our interests would be to reflect on the conversation after we have been talking with someone and ask ourselves how much time we spent talking about our interests compared to listening to the other person.

2. With our time

We're all busy and few of us have discretionary time, so we can become selfish with our time.  Bridges suggests thinking about how often we're prepared to do jobs around the house that aren't normally ours.  For me (and I suspect for a lot of other ministry wives) I think a better question would be how we react when
someone else competes with us for our husband's time.  I can especially remember getting pretty cranky a few times back at our old church when people from the congregation would interrupt our day off together. 

While it's good to spend time alone with each other and important to have habits and practices that protect that time, I think I was there was an element of reactive selfishness that went beyond a wise concern for the welfare of our family (and can be now in other situations too).

3. With our money

 

Here Bridges critiques American levels of generosity - a critique that I suspect applies to us in Australia too.  He writes "every dollar we receive, even when earned by our work, is a gift from God".  It's sometimes easy to excuse ourselves from the call to be generous if we're in full time ministry - especially if we've taken a pay cut to do it.  But the Bible makes it clear that we're all to be generous. 

 

4. Being inconsiderate

 

By 'inconsiderateness' Bridges means never thinking of the impact of their actions on others.  This can be expressed in many ways: saying what you think about something without thinking about the effect of the words on the other person is a good example though, and one which we might have to be careful of as ministry wives.

 

He concludes the chapter by pointing out that: 

Living unselfishly will likely not cost us our lives, but it will cost. It will cost time and money. It will cost becoming interested in the interests, concerns, and needs of others. And it will cost in learning to be considerate of the emotions and feelings of others. (p. 107)

He also reminds us that it is something easier to see in other than ourselves and suggests that we shouldn't jusy disregard this chapter as having no relevance to us.  He urges us to ask the Holy Spirit to show us where we are selfish, using our family members as agents.  So here's my 'homework' now.  I'm going to ask Dave whether he can see evidence of selfishness in my life (and ask him to answer honestly!).  Maybe you'd like to try it too!