Lesley continues by exploring what a Genesis 2 marriage looks (and doesn't look) like...
But what it will mean, to carry the car analogy further, is that in a Genesis 2 marriage, both husband and wife are in the same car, with the husband behind the wheel, both going in the same direction.
Joanna Trollope in her book “The Rector’s Wife” expresses the secular view like this (using the analogy of a boat, not a car): “I married the man not the job. I’m not an outboard motor, I’m another boat”.
What she is saying there is that I want to be independent – we will row two separate boats – he can live his life as a minister and I will live my life as a……
2 comments:
Hi Lesley,
If we were to transform Trollope's comment into the car analogy, I think it would go something like this,
"I married the man, not the job. I'm not an engine, I'm another car".
I can really feel what she's saying here. Sometimes it can feel like we're washing, cooking, cleaning, looking after children, making everything work so that he can live his life the way he wants to. I'm simply the engine that makes the car go. There's something really de-humanising about that.
Yet I agree that we don't want to be separate cars... but two people in one car.
How can we make sure that we are another person in the car and not the engine?
Or should we be happy to be the engine (the "outboard motor"?
I think this has a lot to do with our self-identity: how do I see myself? If I want to serve the One who has redeemed me and claimed me for his own, then the season of life when I cook, clean and look after children may seem quite demeaning. But, in reality, we are following in the footsteps of Jesus because we are selflessly serving the ones we love. We are doing this together - we are in the car together - it is just that we are doing different things. As the season of life changes, that what we do 'in the car' changes too. We will take up more ministry opportunities with different responsibilities. Hopefully our husbands will play a big part here... they should be eager to relieve us from those tasks to allow us to take up some significant ministry. They should not be treating us as 'just the engine', but an equal partner in this dominion, albeit with different responsibilities.
I guess my big plea is... dont get another car... stay in the one car... it will get easier.
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